Adventures in Cave-Sitting
by Mae34
Summary: They were reduced to the role of house sitters...cave sitters (whatever). Sam would have made the effort to be insulted if Dean wasn't about to have an aneurysm.
1. Chapter 1

"Are you sure-" Sam abruptly cuts himself off when the white eyes under the cowl narrowed.

They didn't sign up for this. He's pretty sure of that and vows to check with Bobby about where 'cave-sitting' was listed in any hunter's job description.

Why did they answer their dad's cell phone?

Oh right...helping people.

"We can help, you know," he boldly suggested, looking to Dean for support. But, nope, Dean is still gawking at their damp and deary surroundings.

Jerk.

"We have done this before," Sam clarified. "Saving the world and all. We can be useful."

The silence stretched long into the awkward stage before the masked figure responds with a direct and final, "no."

The man turned around and continued their tour. "We have all the people we need on this mission, but the person who usually is here to take care of things is away at this time. You two were recommended."

"Who-" Sam began before the man turned back and glared.

Right. Hunters had a reputation for their 'no questions asked' policy.

Sam fidgeted under the hard stare. He was beginning to see why crooks ran at the very sight of the man before him. That look could be very intimidating.

And Sam fought back the Devil. Literally.

"The koi need to be fed twice a day."

Sam sighed and resigned himself to the assigned role they were given. "And the bats?"

He would have sworn there was slight smile at the question, which was more terrifying than the scowl.

"The bats can take care of themselves."

"Is there anything else we need to know?"

_'While you go out to world-destroying, apocalyptic situations and we sit here to water the plants?'_

Sam didn't dare say that out loud.

The caped man took a moment to look around the dark, stone corners and the really cool gadgetry that surrounded them before his eyes slowly assessed Dean (who is still goggling like he died and went to heaven).

"Don't touch the car," the man concluded.

Sam was feeling a headache coming on because, shit, the guy was seriously leaving the _batmobile_ behind? He wasn't going to see his brother for the entire week.

And, as if that was his farewell, the Caped Crusader headed out to the elevator. Sam reminded himself to ask for some lessons when he got back. He hunted with some of the best, but he's never heard a departure so silent. It was like the man was a ghost.

As soon as he was gone, Dean made a break for the chair in front of the large and complicated computer system that took up a good amount of cave space.

"Dean..." Sam groaned at his brother's overzealous behavior, but the over-sized fanboy was content with just spinning around in the chair so Sam left it alone.

Settled into his new-found, unbridled joy of the situation, Dean stopped the chair and looked at his brother with the brightest smile. "I'm Batman."

"No, *that*" Sam threw his thumb behind his shoulder. "-was Batman. You're an idiot."


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Another scene because, you know, I. cannot. stop.

"This needs to stop." Sam pinched the bridge of his nose tightly because that headache was very close to becoming a migraine of vision-inducing proportions.

"Why?" their 'client' asked. "Batman seemed satisfied with your services."

"'He seemed satisfied?'" Sam balked. He ignored Dean's astonished whisper of 'services?'. "A deranged, psychotic clown attacked the place!"

A clown. A-Freaking-Clown. Sam was not very forgiving at the Fates for playing with him so cruelly.

"And you handled it to his satisfaction," the superhero responded. "Coming from him, that's a high commendation."

"Why do you even need a house-sitter?" Dean interrupted before Sam could have his mental breakdown.

"Fortress-sitter," Sam corrected.

"Whatever. It's the freakin' *Fortress of Solitude*."

Sam doesn't want to contemplate on whether Dean is insulting or complimenting one of the greatest superheroes in history. Nope, he's not going there.

Thankfully, the man didn't seem offended and just shrugged. "The Fortress of Solitude can get a little..." he paused to find the right word. "..lonely. I just need someone to watch the place for a few days while I'm away."

Dean looked to Sam and Sam watched as his brother thought through what they should do. If they were smart, they should flat-out refuse.

"Maybe we should start advertising," Dean finally suggested.

Yep, Sam definitely entered into 'migraine territory'. He pinched his head harder.


End file.
